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1. You know you’re an actor when… you learn how to balance the tray of drinks so that none spill.
2. Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He stands there, and waits for the world to revolve around him.
3. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one; they don't like to share the spotlight.
4. Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Four: one to screw it in and three to stand around saying that they could have done it better.
5. Q: How many assistant directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but she has to check with the director first to make sure he wants it there.
6. Q: How do you get an actor off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
7. Q: What's the difference between an actor and a pizza?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
8. Why do stage actors like their jobs so much?
It's all play.
9. Susan: I wish I were an actress.
Bill: Well, break a leg then!
Bill: You'd be in a cast for weeks!
10. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
He was just going through a stage.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|